So, I spent last week in Southern California.  I was there for work, but I had the opportunity to stay out there several extra days in order to spend some time with friends, mentors, mentees, and Cali.

Anyone who knows me knows that I really, really like California, especially Pasadena, where I lived from 2002-2005.  I’ve often told people that those 3 years were the best years of my life.  If I no longer say this, know that it’s because my best 3 years began on August 30, 2008, the day I married Shelita. Seriously.

There’s something about Cali that just does it for me.  Perhaps it’s the way the pink and setting sun occasionally lights up the mist glistening in the bay between the ocean cliffs of Santa Monica and Malibu.  Or maybe it’s the soft sands and clear water of Laguna Beach.  Or perhaps it’s the aesthetically intoxicating experience of walking through the beauty inspired gardens of the Huntington or the Getty.  There’s something about Cali that just does it for me.

Some of my best friends live there.  Some of my favorite restaurants are only found there (see the In N Out picture above!).  And, definitely, many of my favorite places on this planet to visit are found in Southern California.

So, it was with great understanding and trust that my wife gave me permission to stay out there with friends for 5 extra days (my job would only count one as a vacation day).

Almost as soon as I arrived in Cali, however, something didn’t feel right. Something was missing.  Something didn’t add up. 

In between spending time with friends, mentors, and a mentee, I found myself with a lot of free time on my hands – much more time alone than I anticipated and would have preferred.

I wish I could say that upon realizing how much alone time I would have, that I immediately refocused my trip into a spiritual retreat of sorts, but that wasn’t what happened.  Instead my first impulse was to drive/wander around, and get back in touch with everything that I enjoyed about So Cal.

I started to do so, but something discomforted me.  I found myself starting to feel more vulnerable to temptation. Though I didn’t spend time alone with a woman, I found myself casually thinking about how if I did, how I could probably get away with it (in man’s eyes, of course). This would grieve me, of course, but the thought (not so much the desire) still crossed my mind.  I WONDER WHY!

“Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” –  1 Peter 5:8

“The thief [Satan] comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy” – John 10:10

Though I didn’t pursue such an interaction with a woman, the reality of the circumstances concerned me. I found myself with a little too much time, a little too much opportunity, and a little too much temptation.

Time + Opportunity + Temptation = Trouble.

So, I left.  For this and several other good reasons, I changed my flight, and jetted out 3 days earlier than planned.  And, I left So Cal still faithful to my wife and in right standing with God.

I figured in one regard, “why deliberately put myself in the path of temptation?”

In Genesis 39, Joseph found himself with a similar train of thought. When Potiphar’s wife proposed to Joseph that he join her in bed, he didn’t try to pull it off without sinning.  Instead, it says (v. 10), “he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her.” When she continued to persist, it says he literally RAN away (v. 12)  I find Potiphar’s wife’s scheme quite interesting.  Instead of starting out by boldly inviting Joseph to have sex with her, she more subtly invited him to lie down in bed with her.  She invited him into a path (the bed) of temptation (sex).

“Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” (Matthew 6:13)

Joseph ran.  And, so by God’s grace, I ran. I’ve run many times before.  Even when I haven’t felt like running, by God’s grace, I’ve run.  I learned to run when I was single.  This is important.  It’s not like now that I’m married, I’m learning for the first time how to run.  God has molded me in His crucible, and He’s tested me in His refining fire.   Someday in the future, I will run again.

There’s another reason I came home early, and this was actually the greater part of my decision.  When you marry someone, you not only pledge your fidelity to them, but you also experience the emotional and spiritual high of being wholeheardly and unconditionally committed to them. This is a high that lasts as long as you are willing to love them.  Like any high, it leaves you wanting more…but not so much to receive, but to give and to share.

Simply put, I missed my wife’s company. The sunsets and scenery of coastal California paled in comparison to the actual sight of my wife.  The 85 degree weather did little for me compared to the warmth of Shelita’s presence.  The kindred friendships I revisited were of no comparison to the sacred and eternal bond I share with my best friend, my wife.

My favorite restaurant in Cali is In N Out.  You drive up, order a Cheeseburger “animal style”, enter heaven, then return to earth.  This visit to Cali was different for me.  I was in and out of Cali, alright.  But, heaven for me was not Cali.  Heaven was returning home to my wife.

Live the life.