Last week, I watched a newly released HBO documentary entitled “The Trials of Ted Haggard.” The documentary detailed the past couple years of Haggard’s so called “exile.” The film showed a heartbroken man who felt abandoned and emotionally crushed by the church. It showed a man struggling to find a stable life. It showed a man who was no longer living his dream, but was instead trying to make the best of a heartwrenching, mind-numbing, and life-devastating situation.

Ted Haggard once held tremendous Christian influence. He served as founding pastor of a 15,000 member church and as president of the 30-million member National Association of Evangelicals. He spoke at Promise Keepers. He founded the World Prayer Center. He authored books. He was a source of inspiration for many.

A little over 2 years ago, he was very publicly removed from all leadership positions after admitting to soliciting a prostitute for homosexual sex and methamphetamine. The scandal sent shockwaves throughout the body of Christ and raised questions about a myriad of things concerning Christian leadership.

As I watched the documentary, all I could think about was God’s grace in his life. WHAT GRACE, you might ask?

How about the grace of the presence of his wife, Gayle, and their 2 teenage sons. Their presence alone was reflective of God’s grace in his life. Not only were they present, they were also saintly. They were  like Jesus re-incarnate. They were right there for him, demonstrating incredible love, support, and hope.

God’s mercy & grace was directed towards this man, and his family was right there to be the conduit, ensuring that he received it.

It was like his family was spoon feeding God’s grace & mercy to him while many were still ruled by bitterness and anger towards him.

“Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.” – Psalm 23:5

I couldn’t help but think, “Huh?!!!!” This man just brought unthinkable pain, strain, embarrassment, and humiliation to his family! How could they find it within themselves to be saintly and emotionally present?

Forget saintly and emotionally present! How were they even present???!! How was the wife even there??? How was she not miles away at some undisclosed location, far removed from her deceitful and adulterous husband???!!!

“If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone…” John 8:7

The depth of their compassion and forgiveness floored me.

It reminded me of Jesus’ love for me.

“While we were still sinners [hard-hearted enemies of God], Christ [lovingly] died for us.” – Romans 5:8

“There is none righteous [and just in case you think you are righteous], no not one.” – Romans 3:10

What Haggard and his family seem to understand is that God’s love for him/us is unconditional, and we should strive to replicate God’s love for us in our love of others.

“As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” John 14:34

“We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

I couldn’t help but think, “The spiritual seeds this man sowed into his family’s life over many years grew into the very fruit that nourished him during his desert experience.”

You never know how God might use your teaching, encouragement, or example.

Watching “The Trials of Ted Haggard” sent shivers to the core of my being. Here’s a man who ascended to great platforms of Christian leadership, yet had a heavy, private, and unresolved sin problem.

It’s scary, isn’t it…the fragility of the relationship between our human condition and our dreams.

One mistake in life because of your human/sinful condition can cost you everything you’ve lived for.

As my pastor, Brett Fuller, often writes, “[You better] live right, and live well!

Lord, how we need Your grace at work in our lives daily, that we might live right throughout our days, and finish well. May our lives and our purpose reflect Your glory.

I truly hope and pray we haven’t seen the last of Ted Haggard as an influential minister. I was encouraged to see him in the documentary still praying, still reading scripture, still attending church, still believing, still seeking God, still hopeful, & still smiling. I believe he’s sincere. I believe he’s got a proper perspective on his condition (that of a sinner needing to overcome the sinful desires of his flesh).

What I don’t know is whether or not he will experience consistent victory over his sin, and, if so, whether or not the church will be forgiving enough to receive him as a leader again. I pray for both.

This is why God’s standards for Christian leadership are so high. God commands, but does not necessarily need our righteousness. There is no lack in God that He might need anything. We, however, need God and His righteousness, and we need our leaders to demonstrate strong character so we can learn the truth from them. And God protects this.

“Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient.” – Ephesians 5:6

The challenge for leaders is to be humble & transparent, addressing sin early enough to avoid greater manifestion of that sin, and properly confessing sin when it manifests itself.

Ted Haggard’s struggle became public. But, many Christians and Christian leaders have a private struggle that no one knows about.

I’ve learned the importance of a close friend with whom I can share freely my most innermost struggles without any fear of abandonment or judgment. I’ve learned how key it is to find the type of friend who will help me properly address sin, and properly confess sin.

Lord, send us such friends, and anoint us to be such a friend.

By Your grace, keep us. Protect us. Grow us.

Life the life.