This past weekend, Shelita & I celebrated our one year anniversary.

This is our testimony.

When Shelita and I first met, it was like puppy love. She was 15. I was 17. We met at a Christian youth conference in Maryland. We spent a few days around each other, then kept in touch across hundreds of miles via snail mail and long-distance phone calls (the kind that used to run up your phone bill). I was going into my freshman year at the University of Massachusetts. She was about to start her sophomore year at South Lakes High school in Reston, VA. It wasn’t the ideal arrangement for a relationship. We were at 2 different stages in life, and very far away from each other. Nonetheless, we both saw something worth investing in. We saw great potential in each other. So, we developed a friendship, with the hope that someday we might have an opportunity to be closer to each other. Nine months after we met, I spent my Spring break visiting with Shelita and her family in VA. I fell in love. I saw my wife in her.

It just wasn’t our time though. Although she had strong feelings for me too, she wasn’t ready yet to be in such a serious relationship. After all, she was a high school sophomore. We agreed to stay friends.

After visiting Shelita during Spring break, I was determined to wait a couple years for her to finish high school and for circumstances to allow us to be together. My hope was that she’d attend college in Boston. Instead, she followed a basketball scholarship to Lehigh University in Bethlehem, PA.

Over the next 9 years, we continued to go our separate ways, but never forgot what we felt early on. We checked in with each other from time to time, shared some holidays & breaks, and wondered if we’d ever become a couple. We explored relationships with those closer to us, grew apart at times, then got back in touch.

It was a painful process.

Along the way, we matured at very different rates and in very different ways. A few years after meeting each other, we still saw great potential in each other, but knew that we’d become quite different. Our lifestyles were different. Our standards were different. Our way of thinking was different. We weren’t ready for each other, and we were on a path to potentially continue to grow apart.

Most importantly, we were not on the same page spiritually.

In 2005, we realized this difference greatly when we decided to finally, after 9 years of friendship, enter into a relationship. I moved from California to Virginia, with the hope of resolving our relationship once and for all. Our hopes were for bliss, but instead, we experienced great frustration. Although we’d grown enough spiritually to convince ourselves we were ready to be in a relationship, we weren’t where we needed to be in order to succeed as a couple. A year and a half later, I left VA without Shelita, and returned home to Boston.

And, here I am…back in VA. To make a long story short(er), we stayed in touch after I moved to Boston, worked out our key differences, got engaged in August 2007, and were married on August 30, 2008.

I write all of that to get to this very important part:

By God’s grace, and I really, really mean by God’s grace, the past year has been a great fulfillment of what we envisioned so long ago. There’s much credit to be given, and God gets it all. Without Christ, we would be two sinners relying upon the wisdom of this age and the integrity of our sinful nature. With Christ, we’re two sinners saved by grace, and growing in grace. Marital success is not given. Prosperity is not given. The Kingdom of God is not given. Let me explain this quickly. When scripture speaks of the Kingdom of God, it doesn’t just speak about Heaven. It also speaks of the atmosphere, lifestyle, & culture God wants to establish here on earth. Scripture says the Kingdom suffers violence, and the violent take it by force. The Kingdom of God is like a treasure hidden in a field. Therefore, we must possess the Kingdom, and the mindset, attitude, and habits which lead to the blessings of the Kingdom. What’s freely given to us from above is faith (Ephesians 2:8-10)…faith that we must exercise and build in order to more fully possess the Kingdom here on earth. This faith comes by the grace of God.  It’s a faith that opens our eyes to the Kingdom around us.  Thank God for this faith!

As I look back over the past year, I can’t help but thank God for the growth we’ve experienced. In the words of the Apostle Paul, “In everything, give thanks.”

Believe me when I say that Shelita has made it quite easy for me to give thanks. She has brightened up my world through her consistent and growing expression of love. She’s enhanced who I am through her ability to tactfully communicate truth and perspective. She’s my closest and best friend.

As we celebrate a year together, we celebrate Christ, and we celebrate each other.

What a wonderful first year. The best is yet to come!

Live the Life.